REAL TALK – Your Friends Aren’t Into Your Dog

It can be tough to have a dog and a social life. It can be even tougher when a friend isn't a dog person or struggles to understand your need to buy 1000 bandanas for your dog and make sure it only eats my ollie out of the fridge. There is NOTHING wrong with being a little pooch obsessed. People are obsessed with shoes, their children, home decor, watermelon, and exercise so who cares! Erin Marquez submitted a piece on how to find balance as a dog mom when you're friends aren't as obsessed with your dog as you are! Read below! 

 Submission by Erin Marquez - Mom of @zaratheminidoodle

Hi, hello, hey you! Does a (large) portion of your paycheck go toward making sure your fur baby has the tastiest, high-quality food? This season’s latest and greatest toys? A fancy little bandana or bowtie for every day of the week? Does your dog have their own Insta, with more followers than you do on your personal account? Do you alter your daily schedule to make sure they are happy, exhausted, and feel included? Cool, me too! Welcome to the “I’m obsessed with my dog” club, population: 99.9% of dog parents.

This is a great club to be a part of until it’s not, and it’s definitely not when your friends, family, and/or acquaintances aren’t as enthusiastic about your pup as you are. This could be for a variety of reasons: maybe they’re allergic; maybe they think dogs are perpetually dirty; maybe they just don’t like animals. The easy solution to this issue is to say “you don’t like my dog, I don’t like you” – but life isn’t easy. Human relationships are complicated, and as much as you might want to ignore or cut someone out for not liking your dog, it likely won’t be that simple. 

Having dealt with this issue on a few different occasions here are my tips for handling it like pro, if and/or when it happens to you: 

1. Recognize it.When my husband and I finally decided we were ready to bring our little pup home, we quickly realized not everyone in our life was as excited as we were. I find it common that a lot of pet parents are blind to this, which I can 110% understand – I mean, how can anyone NOT love a five pound ball of fluff with a pink little belly and poor balance?As hard as it may be to take a step back, I would urge to you pay close attention to a person’s mood, body language, and verbal cues when you bring your dog around and/or talk about them. Does the person seem disinterested? Annoyed? Maybe they try to change the subject all together or disengage? These are obvious signs that someone isn’t into your dog. If you can recognize this, you’re on the right track.

2.    Accept it.It’s taken me a long time to be ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like my dog. I might not be able to relate to or understand it completely, but I can radically accept it, and you can, too!It’s similar with humans: not everyone is going to like you and you’re probably not going to like everyone. This doesn’t diminish your value or worth. Sometimes you just don’t mesh – there’s no click or spark; you have nothingin common. I hope by this point in your life, you’ve realized it’s not the end of the world if you’re not liked by everyone you meet, and I promise it won’t be if someone doesn’t like your dog, either. 

3. Respect it.If you can accept it, you can, and should, respect it. If you know your friends or family aren’t quite on board with your dog, give them a break from him. I’m the first to admit I want to do everythingwith my dog, but I can also admit that I enjoy having a meal without having to share it or having a conversation with someone without worrying if my pup needs to go potty.Always be sure to ask before you assume your dog is invited to something, and try not to take offense when they’re not. Being a respectful dog owner makes you a good dog owner, and may even be the reason your dog-neutral or dog-disliking friends and family start to (eventually, hopefully) warm up to your pooch.

Bringing home a puppy can be one of the most challenging, yet rewarding things you do. Your dog can quickly become the center of your world and teach you a lot about yourself and others. The simple, albeit harsh, truth is that no matter how much you love your fur baby, not everyone is going to. Recognize it, accept it, and respect it. In the end, it just means more puppy snugs and kisses for you, right?

Building your tribe!

When you go to the park and all you wanna do is take cute pics of your pup, it helps to have someone who just gets you. Dog mom's just understand when you are making silly noises, waving toys above your head, teasing your pup with treats in order for them to smile and look at the camera. These people are called your tribe, your squad, your betches, your pod, your crew. I've had the pleasure of meeting more people especially women over the past 6 months than I have in the 5 years I have lived in San Diego. Having a dog is like being in college and you have automatic friends. I have had the fortune to connect with women around the world through instagram and here locally in San Diego. To get more involved with doodle pods on instagram start an engagement group! Find other pups that you feel you relate to (by their content, pics, breed, etc) and send a direct message! Ask them if they would want to join an engagement group...what is an engagement group? These groups can consist of 16 people max and the common goal of the group is to comment and like in order to gain more following on one's instagram page. Instagram works off an algorithm that is based on engagement...so the more activity on your post, the more your picture will be seen. So once you've reached out to as many other accounts as you like (0-16) set some ground rules. Some groups will be more loose with no deadline on needing to like and comment or others will say must comment and like within 24-48 hours, etc. Each group can come up with their own rules! Hopefully, the group will become more than just an engagement pod. Use it to ask questions, lean on your peers, get advice about posts, etc. 

Building a squad outside of the internet takes effort! But you gotta dog so you have to put the effort in anyways. Join local and national doodle (or your breed) Facebook groups. They should have dates of doodle romps or dog play dates. Exchange numbers, set up playdates, and push yourself out of your comfort zone. We take Pax to a local park every single day. The same people are there and our conversations started with hey how are ya what's your dog's name to what's your number let's grab a glass of rose! It's so easy to make friends with other dog parents because they care about their pup's well being just as much as you do about yours! Break the ice, ask a question about their pup (people love to talk about themselves!) and start to build a conversation. Here are some ice breaker tips: 

• Oh you're pup is so cute, what is his or her name?

• Hey I feel like I've seen you here before and no this is not a pick up line :)

• Our dogs play so well together how old are they?

• What kind of dog do you have?

• Bring up something you are struggling with and ask another parent if they have ever experienced the same.

• Ask about dog friendly bars/restaurants in the area and if they have any recommendations.

Check out the following:

• Meetup.com

• Petco (They have open puppy classes on the weekend)

• Facebook groups (local and national doodle or your breed groups)

Remember building relationships take time and connecting to people who are in the same place in life as you are and that you can relate to is very valuable!